Afraid to Jinx myself

It sounds so silly but today, Jan 6th I have written down everything I ate for two days and stayed in my calorie range. I also did a Leslie Sansone video for the 1 Mile last night.
I am finding myself doing that thing where I start to obsess and want to just look up workouts and diet plans. That's how I roll. Then I roll right off whatever thing I was obsessing over. I am scared to talk to people about my eating or working out. I don't want to set up an expectation with them then fail. I wonder if everyone feels this way. I actually really struggle mentally with this time of year because everywhere is so focused on "whats" wrong with themselves and losing weight and I am trying to make peace with myself and my weight. At the same time I know its NOT healthy so I do want to lose weight. It's a real mental struggle for me for some reason and I am sure it's the usual reason that I just analyze too much and blow things up inside my mind.. obsess then move on to a new thing.
I want this to be one of the times that is different. I want to focus on making healthy lifestyle changes and learning to love myself.
I have no smoked in 3 days and have not overeaten in 2. I have exercised 1 day.
Those are good streaks and I really hope to update them tomorrow. I just need to keep focused that this is for ME. So I can be the best me I can be, that I love and deserve all these things for myself. It's ok if I talk about it, it's ok if I don't. I just need to keep my eyes on the prize as they say, and that prize is a ME I am proud of being in most every area of my life.