R-E-S-P-E-C-T

That is what I need to have for myself. I feel paralyzed at the moment by life and afraid of stepping anywhere. I do not want to resort to past behaviors when dealing with stress. I want to have behaviors that only benefit myself, my soul, and my greater good.
I will not use my body as a trash receptacle for empty food and calories that mean nothing and do nothing for me. I deserve all good things and the way I look and feel matters in that.
I need to get a grip and figure out a plan but I just want to avoid as well. It really kind of sucks when you don't know WHAT you want or maybe you do but are just afraid to go there or give up the things you still would miss if you do.

I just feel numb, but yet pain, and failure and wondering why.. It is my nature to want to understand and when I don't it paralyzes me.
What to do, What to do.....